Compiled by: Abdurahim bin Mizhir Almalki

Lara

     I am Canadian-born of Scandinavian and other ancestry, and I was raised in Canada. I have been a Muslimah since February, 1993, when I was twenty-three. While growing up, I was never affiliated with any religion, nor was I an atheist. When I was in my mid-teens, I started to think somewhat about religion, and at that time I did believe in the oneness of God. Christianity never interested me.

     My first contact with Muslims occurred when I was introduced to some international students in 1988. Through them I learned a bit about Islam, such as fasting Ramadhan. But it was really not until 1992 that I became interested in Islam. In the summer of that year a Canadian newspaper published a series of articles attacking Islam by using examples of anti-Islamic behavior by some Muslims in an attempt to vilify Islam itself. Non-Muslims tend to judge Islam on the basis of the behavior (which is not necessarily Islamic) of Muslims.

     I was not yet Muslimah, but the articles were so outrageous that I sent a letter to the editor in defense of Islam. Now I was more curious about Islam. I re-read some articles I had picked up several months earlier from the Muslim Students Association’s “Islam Awareness Week” display at my university. One was about Jesus as a prophet of Islam. I also asked a Muslim to get me some books about Islam; they were about overall ideology and were written by two famous Muslim authors.

     Impressed, I thought, “This is Islam? It seems so right.” Over the next few months in my free time while attending university, I continued to learn about Islam from authentic Islamic books. One certainly does not learn the truth about Islam from mass media! (Newcomers to Islam must be especially careful to avoid the writings of deviant groups which claim ties to Islam so as not to be misled. And just because an author has an Arabic name does not necessary mean that he or she is a knowledgeable Muslim, or even Muslim at all.)

     I also learned about Islam from some kind, knowledgeable Muslims who did not pressure me. Meanwhile, I had begun to change my behavior to be more Islamic (which did not require huge change). I already avoided consuming alcohol and pig meat. I had always preferred to dress conservatively and not wear makeup, perfume or jewelry outside my home. I started to eat only Islamically slaughtered meat. During this time, I visited a mosque in my city for the first time.

     Until I discovered Islam, I knew almost nothing about it. I say “discovered” because the “Islam” that I had always heard about through the mass media is not true Islam. I had always assumed that Islam was just another manmade religion, not knowing that it is the truth. I had also assumed that a person had to be raised as a Muslim to be one.

     I was not aware of the fact that all humans are born Muslim (i.e., in a state of Islam – submission to the Creator). Like many “Westerns” I associated Islam with the “East” and did not know that Islam is universal in both time and place. However, I never had negative feelings about Islam, al-hamdulillah. The more knowledge that I acquired about Islam, the more I felt that I too could actually be Muslim, as I found many of the beliefs that I already had were actually Islamic, not merely “common sense.”

     So after familiarizing myself with what Islam is basically about and what the duties and poper conduct of a Muslim person are, as well as thinking and reflecting, I felt ready to accept Islam and live as a Muslimah. One day while at home I said the shahadah and began to perform the  five daily prayers. That was in February, 1993, several days before the fasting month of Ramadhan began. I did not want to miss fasting this time! I found fasting to be much easier than I had anticipated; before I fasted I had worried that I might faint.

     At first there was a bit of an adjustment period getting used to the new routine of performing prayers and fasting, and I made some mistakes, but it was exciting and not difficult. I started to read the Qur’an (Abdullah Yusuf Ali’s translation) when I was given one soon after accepting Islam. Before that I had read only excerpts of it in other books. In the beginning I found The Lawful and the Prohibited in Islam by Dr, Yusuf al-Qaradawi to be a useful guide.

     During Ramadhan in January, 1996, I started to wear the Islamic heascraf (hijab). I realized that I could not fully submit to Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala), which is what being Muslim is about, without wearing it. Islam must be accepted and practiced in its entirety; it is not an “alter-to-suit-yourself” religion. Since becoming a Muslimah I was aware that the headscarf is required of Muslim women, and I had intended to wear it eventually.

     I should have worn it immediately upon accepting Islam, but for many Muslimahs (even some from Muslim families) it is not always easy to take that step and put it on in a non-Muslim Society. It is silly how so many persons get upset over a piece of fabric! Also, it is interesting to note that Christian nuns are never criticized for covering their heads.

     What made me hesitate to put it on was the fear of receiving bad treatment from others, especially my family. But we must fear Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) only, not others. In the few months before I permanently put on hijab, I started “practicing” wearing it. I wore it when I traveled between my home and the local mosque on Fridays, when I started attending the Jumu’ah congregational prayer. (Of course, since becoming Muslim I always wore it during every prayer). A couple of weeks prior I began making du’aa’ asking Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) to make it easy for me to wear it.

     The day I finally put it on permanently I had reached the point where I felt that I could no longer go out with a bear head,and I thought “tough bananas” if others do not like me wearing it, since I alone am accountable for my actions and am required to perform my Islamic duties. I could never please everyone anyway. Sometimes opposition to hijab is a control issue: some people just plainly do not like those who are determined and independent, especially if it is their child.

     Upon wearing it I immediately felt protected and was finally able to go out and not be target of stares from men. At first I felt a bit self-conscious, but after several weeks I felt completely used to  waering hijab. Sometimes others look puzzled, I think because they are not used to seeing pale-faced, blue-eyed Muslimahs! By the way, wearing hijab is Dawah in a way, as it draws attention to Islam.

     Since accepting Islam I continued to seek knowledge about the religion, which is a lifelong duty for all Muslims  -male and female. Currently, I am learning Arabic and hope to soon be able to read the Qur’an in Arabic, in-sha-Allah. Reading, discussing Islam with other Muslims, and attending the Friday khutbah are all education. Striving to be as pious as one can be and fighting against one’s own evil traits takes effort and is continuous and never ending for Muslims. I find Islam ever more fascinating, and I enjoy living as a Muslim.